Thread #33: Jesus on Marriage, Divorce and Children
Three of the most emotionally impactful topics in one podcast! Yep, listen to Jesus Christ as he takes on the divorce industry of his day.Here’s the link to the ITunes Version You can listen directly here by clicking below. Thanks!!! If you like the broadcast please share it with others. If you want to see all the available podcasts click here.
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The Marriage I Want
I don’t want Sherry to feel trapped
I want her to continually open up because she trusts me completely
I want to release all that is inside of her
I don’t want her to fear me
I don’t want her to ever dread meeting with me
I don’t want her to draw back from me
I want to protect her and provide for her
I want to be a shelter and a covering for her
I don’t want to demand her love. I want her to give it freely.
And then I find Ephesians 5.32 and I realize that God wants the same from me in our relationship. It helps me see Him differently.
Four Marriage Builders, Part One: Become the Minister of Encouragement
For those who missed it before I am reposting Sherrys four articles on Marriage builders. CQ
“Chuck and i love to do pre-marital counseling. We feel the Lord has taught us a lot about what to do and what NOT to do in order to build a great marriage. We want to invest into those lives that the Lord has put in our paths. We believe the Lord has put you in our lives for a purpose. Our marriage is the greatest and most important/significant earthly relationship we have! We must build it INTENTIONALLY……daily! Thank you for allowing us to pass on to you some of these nuggets of wealth the Lord has taught us over the years….
Number 1 of four marriage builders is….ENCOURAGE
We must be each others minister of encouragement……lets start our discussion by sharing some of the things we do to encourage our partner on a daily basis……
One of the things chuck and i do is….we call it…..our first encounter….. everytime we see each other for the first time after being apart we make sure it is a postive encounter. Whether it is when we first wake up in the am, whether we have parted just to drop the kids to school and back in 5 minutes or whether we have been apart for an 8 hour or more day, we make sure when we greet each other that it is a positive greeting. We may ourself have had an awful day…someone may have seen us when we dropped the kids off and gave us some really bad news or “jumped all over us” for something, we may have had a dream that our partner cheated on us(ever do that? :O) ….regardless of what has happened bad to us in that time we were apart we intentionally prepare ourself to greet our partner positively….then when the moment is “right” unload…but becareful not to make your partner the blame of why you are feeling so bad.”–SQ
What are some things your partner does to encourage you?
The Secret to a Balanced Family Life
OK, I am getting this question a lot lately so I think its time to speak again on this subject. The question goes something like this, “How do you give your best to other people in ministry while not ignoring your own family and their needs in the process?” Fortunately, I have an answer for this: Calendar Control.
Sherry and I LOVE our kids, but we believe that the key to their security is for them to see us captivated by a growing love. This romantic covenant relationship is for them a prophecy about their own future marriage being a great one so we have to put our relationship ahead of even the parent-child relationship for everyone’s sake. So Sherry and I block out an hour each day at the end to process our day and relax over a cup of tea or something similar and just talk. One day a week we take 4-8 hours off to be together. Once a quarter we go away and overnight. Once a year we take a week off together–all without the kids or any other couples and all without doing ministry. We have kept this routine for over 15 years and it has kept us close to each other so that we have the necessary resources then to minister to our kids and others. The first step in making our year’s calendar is to plot these dates and others related to the kids, then we pile on strategic ministry commitments.
Sometimes we are facing a challenge…like packing the house up for the move back to Thailand–and we just have to grunt our way through it and push on, but in the middle of the pressure we still took two days, rented a Harley and cruised the early Fall colors in the smokeys. Then, we returned to the packing work refreshed and didn’t ruin the last week of our time in the USA bickering from the pressure that was upon us.
Calendar control has saved us from burnout while also insuring that we make a sizable strategic commitment to ministries and lives we feel drawn to. Try it in 2010 and see what this can do for you.
What I’m Grateful for at year 28 of our Marriage
The deep fog inside my brain slowly evaporated this morning after the alarm went off & out popped the awareness that today was, indeed, the anniversary of our 28th year of marriage together. An odd number, not 25 or 50, but today nonetheless I celebrate the gift of a relationship strong enough to last that long when so many other relationships have faded away a bit.Four marriage builders, part one: Encouragement
Chuck and i love to do pre-marital counseling. We feel the Lord has taught us a lot about what to do and what NOT to do in order to build a great marriage. We want to invest into those lives that the Lord has put in our paths. We believe the Lord has put you in our lives for a purpose. Our marriage is the greatest and most important/significant earthly relationship we have! We must build it INTENTIONALLY…daily! Thank you for allowing us to pass on to you some of these nuggets of wealth the Lord has taught us over the years….
To Be Truly Loved…and know what to do with it
I guess in every marriage the partners love each other, but every now and then someone gets to experience being truly, truly loved–I mean adored–by someone else. I’m not sure we alwaysunderstand the depth of such a gift when we get it. It means that our lover has chosen to open their heart wide, dropping all protection, to follow their heart’s desire to love without holding back. I think this kind of trusting love is rare. (Most of the time it seems that each partner hold something back to protect themselves against being hurt.)
If you ever get loved like this I think you really owe it to your partner to ponder the value of the gift. If you cheat on them they will feel the betrayal to their very core. If their love makes you feel powerful you may take them for granted or act like their love lord, withholding your affection if you don’t like something. Living like this dishonors the gift.
But every now and then both partners seem to honor the depth of the gift of love they are receiving. They understand that it is almost impossible to be loved so completely twice in this life. They cherish the feelings of being loved and reward that love every day. I think that’s the one flesh union the Bible speaks of as God’s desire between men and women in marriage. I get this from those green eyes every day…and I want to give it back at the same strength.
The Stewardship of Two Lives
I think about ultimate things a lot. I think it was Spurgeon who said, “Death destroys a man, but thoughts of death may save him.” I think about what I am doing with my time and my energies. I evaluate the patterns we are establishing. I look for fruit from our activities and I judge to see where the best places are for the investment of our lives.
In the end, as head of this family I am responsible for the stewardship of two lives, mine and Sherry’s. Together we work out our systems and priorities. Our kids are with us for a season and we are doing our best to plant the right things inside them in hope that these things will take root and be their stability for their lives, but we do this knowing that their lives are their own and that they will leave us one day (too soon). Our two lives are our project and our treasure and our stewardship.
Pray for us to make the most out of this short opportunity of life.
