Personal Support Drive During July and August
Hi Friends, July and August are our personal fundraising months. We generally raise funds for projects in Asia. This time we need to focus on our own monthly family support so if you can become a partner it would be so deeply appreciated. Just getting things set up today to start next month.
I am using gofundme for this effort. If you click the widget below (or the one in the sidebar) you can either pay by paypal or use a credit card. Save your email confirmation as it is your tax receipt since these gifts are tax deductable. These are one time gifts. If you intend to give monthly please use the green JustGive link on the right margin. That one will let you set up automatic monthly giving.
If you have been our partners and have a current giving method there is no need to click anything, but could you just drop us an email at info@quinley.com and tell us if you can commit to monthly giving for the next 12 months and at what level? We could not remain on the field without your faithfulness to us. We are doing our best to be diligent and faithful as your partners on the field and we are truly grateful that you have done your part as well.
Is Missions Life Harmful to Children
Hi , I came across this article and thought I would re-post it since it has sparked quite a bit of conversation since we initially posted it in 2009. CQ
On Dec. 29, 2002 six masked men, armed with automatic weapons, entered our campsite on a remote island in the Philippines looking for potential kidnap victims. They didn’t take Sherry or our kids and missed me (a long story), but two of our friends were taken and never seen again. One was our dear friend, Tony Lehmann.
This event reopened a question we thought we had answered 20 years before, “Is missions life harmful for our children?” To be honest, while life in developing countries has many blessings and rewards is does have its added risks from police corruption, less public safety overall, and from diseases like Hepatitis B, malaria, AIDS and TB.
The kidnapping brought us again to a crossroads of decision. Manila is the kidnap/murder capital of Asia by 400%. Health is also an issue. Five of our kids had already tested positive for TB exposure over the past 3 years. Now we knew four families who had been touched by kidnappings. Should we pack it in and find safer ministry in the USA? Concerned friends counseled us to do just that. We had to hear from God and from our own hearts.
Seven days later, I needed to make a quick trip to take Andrew to start his life at Lee University in Tennessee. We had never sent any of our kids to the States alone or to college before. There were many details to accomplish. Sherry felt strongly to stay behind with the other kids and be a strength for Tony’s wife, Kristine. We sent out emails asking for prayer and I took AJ to Lee.
Andrew and I attended church on Sunday, looking like everyone else on the outside. Inside I was so troubled and full of questions. Thank God this was a Pentecostal church and after the singing the pastor felt led to skip the sermon and just call everyone to the altar for an extended time of prayer. I needed that so much!
As I lay across the altar pouring my heart out to God I felt a warm brotherly arm around my shoulder and Bob McCall from the Church of God Missions Department began to pray for me. Bob was the perfect intercessor that day. He was himself raised in Latin America by missionary parents. (It is really such a privilege to be prayed for that way! I pity those who have never had anyone lay hands on them in caring intercession.) I returned home to Manila in a few days, relieved to be reunited with everyone there.
The next 30 days of “cat and mouse” intrigue and ransom negotiations were dramatic for Kristine’s family and for ours too. We were baptized into a much deeper level of chaos, betrayal and institutional spiritual darkness than we had ever seen before. We felt helpless in many ways, but also felt empowered by the Spirit. We saw the power of active love. (You know, God is always especially with you in the wilderness).
During this intense month we lived in a refining crucible. It clarified our vision, values and theology about God, mission, risk and what we ultimately hoped to accomplish through our own short lives.
We decided to stay. We felt strongly that we were called into missions as a family, not just as a couple. We have come to believe that only God ultimately controls the dramatic events of our lives and that whatever He allows is good. We are also convinced that missions life, though it has cost at times, has been incredibly rewarding in the lives of our children. They “see” people and tune into their hurts. They love all colors and cultures. They have experienced living for others rather than just for their own comfort. In the end, wherever God sends them, they will do well.
We are happy missionaries and we have discovered that the safest place in all the world to be is in the center of God’s will for our lives. Thanks for helping us stay on the field for so many years already.
Why music matters in nation and family building
My good friend Bill Tolia shared this quote with me about the power of music to imperceptibly drill values into the soul,
“Let me write the songs of the nation–
I don’t care who writes the laws.”
Andrew Fletcher
A New Movie-Watching Experience
Well, we’ve 
been trying something new this week. Instead of reading a chapter or two from a novel, Sherry and I have been working our way through the Godfather 20 minutes at a time. That’s about how long it takes till Sherry falls asleep after her busy days here. At this rate it will take 8 days. Such a big story is actually becoming even more powerful in these shorter exposures. It is such a powerful movie that each scene moves the plot along. By the second night I started dreaming Godfather scenes. In eight days Kris and Julie will probably hear a touch of the Don in my voice.
Favorite Quote so far: “Leave the gun. Take the cannolis.” (55:13) Gotta love those cannolis!
Photo of the Day: Crunch time at MediaLight
After working on a video for a week we showed it to Sherry for critique and heard that it was emotionally flat. Today it is due so its been deconstruction time around here all day. New script. New theme…it will be worth it in the end.
Photo of the Day: Kristin gets fingerprinted
Where’s the FBI when we need them? Kristin is considering taking an English-teaching position somewhere in Asia. Teaching is a great way to build redemptive relationships in Asia. We tried it ourselves but kept smudging it so we had to go to the local police who were a bit puzzled at the request since they only fingerprint criminals here. After some gesturing they said OK and 20 minutes later we were on our way.
Photo of the Day: Julia finds wheels
Today was about Julia flying solo on the scooter. Yesterday we drove tandem and took a little spill in a blind corner, but she got back in the saddle, scraped knee and all. Today, street wise, she took off wearing my leather jacket…just in case. Came back without a scratch. Our baby girl is spreading her wings a bit. happy/sad moment
Operation Complete: Dead Gecko removed from sofa
Somehow he got inside the upholstery and crawled up the arm till he came to the end (the part your palm rests on). Yesterday Jessica said that something alive was inside the sofa. By today you could see his form in the arm of the sofa. Took it apart with a claw hammer and long screwdriver then undid the upholstery with pliers. There he was. Julia was a great surgical assistant. She has a future in medicine out there somewhere.
Brooke’s 18th Avatar Birthday
Celebrate with us! Brooke turns 18 today. She decided that she wants an Avatar theme event so first Sherry had to source blue paint (ended up with silk screen plastic based paint so we’ll see if they have all over acne for the next week), glue guns, sling shots and foliage for costume making.
Then it is off to the state park and waterfall where they can run through the woods. Wonder what the local forest service will think all of this is…new tales of strange creatures in the woods? More later after the event…
Ok, so I got a little excited…
We had done our best to minister to the 50+ couples gathered in KL on the subject marriage in ministry at the Every Nation Asia Pacific conference. It was rewarding in so many ways: catching up with old friends to hear about the stories of their life since we last saw each other, new friends we want to pursue, young leaders whose lives seem so full of fruit and potential already. These were church planters from nations in the Middle East and Asia. Our kind of people in so many ways. On the last day we were already on a high, then they called us up front to say thanks and give us some gifts.
Our hosts passed a shopping bag to us and I said out loud, “What’s mine is thine and this one is Sherry’s” and handed it to her. She took one look inside and said “You’ll wish you hadn’t said that.” Then I looked. Not bed sheets or something for the house (most gifts we get are things for Sherry). No, this time it was a 64 gig Apple IPad! It was hers for about 20 minutes. Then she smiled and gave it to me. Sweet wife!
Thanks again, Pastor Steve and Everyone at Every Nation for your generosity in every way!
Sherry’s 50th (3 min video)
OK, here’s the short version of the video. It was a special night. Thanks Theiven and Creation Productions for the work!
New Metro Manila Magazine: Move over Oprah!
That’s right, move over Oprah, to commemorate Sherry’s 50th birthday we commissioned a Metro Manila publisher of major magazines to print a one-of-a-kind edition of Sherry “Life is 100% Attitude!” (Sherry’s basic philosophy). The magazine had dozens of photos chronicling the first 50 years of achievement in Sherry’s colorful life. It also had greetings from dozens of friends and family members and advertisements for Sherry’s favorite painkiller Excedrin and for her licensed products such as her Amish diet, spillproof laptop and even an ad for her fertility formula.
Click here for more images from the publication.
Sherry’s 50th Surprise Party
Well, two months of hard work truly paid off. For the first time in my life I was able to surprise Sherry. She is such an amazing detective that i had to set up a different email account to coordinate the event which took place in Manila. Usually, Sherry does everything for everyone else, but this time I wanted to give everyone a chance to really show their appreciation for her life’s ministry to all of us.
We were in Manila for ministry and for a family reunion. All the kids came to us, Kristin even got a leave from her ministry in Bolivia and joined us for the surprise. We held the party on the rim of a volcano in Tagaytay, about an hour outside of Manila. Sherry thought we were going to a special restaurant to celebrate our friend Ajie’s birthday that had just passed. Everyone arrived early. We were delayed in traffic for an hour and were rushing to get inside because Sherry knew we had kept Ajie and Riki waiting for an hour, then when the doors opened it was, “Surprise!” And she really was. I was so happy that nobody leaked the secret. We had food, music, a “how well do you know Sherry” game show and the kids and I gave her little talks about what she means to us.
Sherry has lived lavishly for 50 years, overdoing it with gift-giving, big feasts for dozens at a time and hours and hours of time and attention. She is already an outstanding success. Our six kids and I have benefitted most because we have the joy of being with her every day. We love you, Sherry! Hope to be there to celebrate your next 50 years one day.
Our Family in a Sentence (or two)
Me:I am fairly healthy in all dimensions. Want to write more and go motocrossing again. It’s just so hot in Thailand right now.
Sherry is battling the deadly combination of mid-life heat flashes and 100+ degree summer heat.
Sometimes I think she will burst into flames. We are in a normal conversation, then I see her face flush bright red, and she’s up pacing and fanning frantically and trying to catch her breath. Spontaneous human combustion is just seconds away.
* Andrew and Jacki are gearing up for deeper language study in the coming months and settling in nicely into ministry here.
* Kristin got bit by a dog as she rode her motorcycle to the children’s center where she serves in Bolivia. The doctor said to come back for a shot if the dog dies within a week. (huh?) PS: Kris followed up with the dog’s owner. It had shots. Just a bad temper.
* Nathan:Trying to stay focused on college but restless for an adventure. Spending most of his time climbing and hiking.
* Jessica: Celebrating her one year anniversary with her fine boyfriend, Alex. Doing well at Lee U. Also in need of an adventure.
* Brooke got her first driver’s license, so now she is legal as she cruises around on her scooter.
* Julia: Prefers cars to cycles and is gaining experience by driving our truck around behind the nearby airport.
The Death of My Favorite Hat
Today I mourn the passing of my favorite cap. I bought it years ago in Ukraine and it has been my daily companion for thousands of miles. With a bald head I have to keep it covered to stay warm and to keep it from roasting. My old friend fell victim to our latest obsession, airsoft gun battles. I’m not exactly sure why they have the word “soft” in the name because there is nothing soft about it. They have replica assault rifles with the heft and balance of a real AK-47 or M-16 and the same sights, etc. Then they fit it with an automatic compressed air motor that fires hard heavy plastic 7mm pellets in a fully automatic burst. The idea is to get as close as possible to the experience of firing a fully-automatic assault weapon.
Andrew, the girls and I have been going with Travis and Jonny (friends from the US and now students at MediaLight) and Shane Vermooten (guest teacher from South Africa) to a battle place at night for war games. I tried wearing a helmet but didn’t like the weight so i went back to my nicely-broken-in hat. It’s leather so BBs can’t pierce it, right? Brooke and I ended up in a standoff from about 8 feet away and I caught a full face of pellets. Five went through the hat and I also took one on the lip (yes, we had safety glasses made of metal mesh). My head knots will heal but the hat is another story. (Brooke is still nursing her earlobe wound). I tried repairing the damage with a glue gun (I’m hung up on guns, I know) but it’s just not the same now. Now there are shiny places of glue and bits of white fabric and well, it’s just not as fun wearing it now. Anybody going to Eastern Europe any time soon???
Bite your Tongue… really
This one is for the parents out there or for those who have to deal with touchy relational situations at times. The teenage years, say the parenting sages, are the years of biting your tongue. Maybe its the age 14 mega-changes or the “it’s not fair” dramatic monologue you want to avoid. Just don’t react if possible. OK, I know I just said, “if possible”. Sometimes you really have no choice but 80% of the time you do. Just smile and say nothing except “I hear you” or “thanks for sharing your feelings”. It’s kind of like being on a volleyball court and having someone spiking balls at you. Just don’t hit them back and eventually…they’ll run out of balls. You will get through this season if you don’t do things to enflame the already tense situation.
Remember how you were as a teen. The center of your own personal universe. Everything about your life is hugely important and you do not yet see the big picture because you have never had to die to yourself and live for a spouse and children. They’ll get that lesson eventually. For now, just try to avoid protracted arguments. They will forget and absolve themselves for everything they say in these moments but will never forget what you said to them if it hurts so….. just bite your tongue.
That’s my advice for today and when I follow it myself, things go pretty well.
How Polite Thai People Can Be
Brooke decided that she wanted to take violin lessons since someone gave her one as she left the USA. Sherry researched and found that our town had a small orchestra led by a man who speaks pretty good English. She spoke to him over the phone and he described the place where we could get lessons. It was in a residential area away from the part of town we usually travel.
Creeping through the neighborhood in our truck we were looking for the right house and saw through an open door a 40 year old man sitting in the doorway watching TV inside his house. He seemed to be also watching the street a lot. We made eye contact and he seemed to have a spark of recognition on his face. He jumped up and came to his gate, opening it as we gestured to him saying in English, “Is this the house for violin?” He smiled and nodded and Brooke and Sherry got out while Julia and I drove around the block looking for a place to park.
As Sherry and Brooke walked toward him he opened the gate. They went on ahead of him into his house and he hurried to move things off his sofa to make them comfortable as they watched TV with him and waited. His daughter also smiled happily with them as Sherry tried to communicate that they were there for the lesson. Some time passed with everyone continuing to smile politely at each other. Then, Brooke started to laugh, “Mom, this is totally the wrong house!” Sherry got her cell phone out and called the instructor again, learning that we turned left when we should have gone straight at the last crossing.
Politely excusing themselves, they thanked their hosts for a nice visit and left. Asians are soooooo polite!!!
Four Marriage Builders, Part One: Become the Minister of Encouragement
For those who missed it before I am reposting Sherrys four articles on Marriage builders. CQ
“Chuck and i love to do pre-marital counseling. We feel the Lord has taught us a lot about what to do and what NOT to do in order to build a great marriage. We want to invest into those lives that the Lord has put in our paths. We believe the Lord has put you in our lives for a purpose. Our marriage is the greatest and most important/significant earthly relationship we have! We must build it INTENTIONALLY……daily! Thank you for allowing us to pass on to you some of these nuggets of wealth the Lord has taught us over the years….
Number 1 of four marriage builders is….ENCOURAGE
We must be each others minister of encouragement……lets start our discussion by sharing some of the things we do to encourage our partner on a daily basis……
One of the things chuck and i do is….we call it…..our first encounter….. everytime we see each other for the first time after being apart we make sure it is a postive encounter. Whether it is when we first wake up in the am, whether we have parted just to drop the kids to school and back in 5 minutes or whether we have been apart for an 8 hour or more day, we make sure when we greet each other that it is a positive greeting. We may ourself have had an awful day…someone may have seen us when we dropped the kids off and gave us some really bad news or “jumped all over us” for something, we may have had a dream that our partner cheated on us(ever do that? :O) ….regardless of what has happened bad to us in that time we were apart we intentionally prepare ourself to greet our partner positively….then when the moment is “right” unload…but becareful not to make your partner the blame of why you are feeling so bad.”–SQ
What are some things your partner does to encourage you?
Burned Knees but Clean Floors
Well, we have had two weeks here in Thailand. Our house is quite small, but cute. Two bedrooms only. So with the girls and the two of us here it is a bit tight to host guests and we think we’ll be having a lot this year with the school opening in January. So, when the house two doors down opened up for $100 a month we jumped on it as a guest house and office for Media Light.
Sherry scrubbed the floors for an entire day using mainly bleach with a little water. By the end of the day her knees were throbbing, then blistering and then an awful mess. We have been nursing them all week.
And I believe we have learned our lesson about undiluted bleach in contact with skin.
Kenny Rogers and Gameboys…
Generational humor. So Julia was telling me about this episode of the Office where they were going camping and singing a song on the bus about playing a gameboy. Something sounded familiar about it so I asked her for the song. She sang, “If you’re going to play the gameboy you’ve got to learn to play it right.” I died laughing. Kenny Rogers, The Gambler. I don’t think he had video games in mind when he wrote it though…
I love Jetlag
We are now in Manila, 12 hours ahead of the time zone in Tennessee where we have been living. When you travel so many hours and then enter a society on such a drastically different sun-dial position you will experience disorientation for a week or so, commonly known as “jetlag.” In general, it makes you conk out at about 3PM and again permanently by 9PM. You will find yourself waking up somewhere between 2AM to 5AM with little hope of sleeping again until you get your body acclimated. Some people hate this. I love it. By nature my body wants to stay up until 2AM daily and I drag myself out of bed whenever duty calls and just go with little sleep mostly.
Here, at least for a while, I am back to the Ben Franklin “Early to bed, early to rise…” schedule and I do love it. You can get a lot of praying and thinking done at 4AM when the world is still silent. By the time things get moving at 8 or 9 you have a massive jump start on life. I really wish I could keep this up and each time we relocate I try to do it, but little by little my inner nature pushes me back toward the old ways. I’ll enjoy it while I can though.
Why you don’t give your kids everything they want, Reason 1 “Easy Going”
When we describe someone as “easygoing” what are we really saying? I think it’s that their threshold for being happy and satisfied even when they didn’t get all that they wanted is set pretty low (easy to achieve). It’s easy for them to feel satisfied under most circumstances, not only when they get everything exactly the way they wanted it. Enter, the ministry of comfort removal. When you intentionally delay gratification of your child’s desire or when you give them something a little less or even a little “other” than what they had in mind and you can get them to be happy with that then I think that you have done them a great favor for life.
Recalibrating their mind like this is important because your job isn’t always going to give you everything you wish it would. Neither will your marriage at times. Ditto your spiritual walk. But can you be happy anyway? Happy with all that you do have? Genuinely grateful that you have gotten 80% of everything you ever dreamed you would ever achieve in life and that overall you are amazingly blessed even though you might wish you could be 2 inches taller or thinner or make a little more money or you wish that coat came in brown not just in blue….or….
Consumerism with its endless choices can make us think we “deserve” to have everything to suit us all the time. I think good parenting means helping our children learn that life is really great most of the time IF you have the attitude of being happy with what you get even when it’s not always exactly what you wanted. What we are promised by the Father is that we’ll always have what we truly need.
What I’m Grateful for at year 28 of our Marriage
The deep fog inside my brain slowly evaporated this morning after the alarm went off & out popped the awareness that today was, indeed, the anniversary of our 28th year of marriage together. An odd number, not 25 or 50, but today nonetheless I celebrate the gift of a relationship strong enough to last that long when so many other relationships have faded away a bit.
