A Family of Individuals

  IpOne of the great challenges of being a large family comes from the fact that the kids did not pop out as clones of a master child design.  In one sense we are a tribe, but that doesn’t mean that we are all the same.  People often look at all our kids and ask if we adopted them because they don’t even look the same.  The differences go much deeper than looks.  We have broad extroverts and deep introverts.  Some love books and others don’t like to read.  Some play video games to near addiction and others can’t seem to get those thumbs to coordinate.  Some love an abundance of things and others would be very happy to leave the house and the closets half-filled.  Somehow we manage to live as a unit, but it takes grace and the practice of honoring each other and agreeing we all have to keep the family in tact and not let it spin off from neglect.  One of our struggles has been giving everyone a certain latitude of personal choice while still keeping ourselves as a unified whole.

I have seen families make the mistake of just letting everyone do whatever they prefer.  Some eat their evening meal on the sofa and watch tv.  Others take it to their room.  In our house we all eat together at the table. TV off.  Everyone knows that their personal plans have to be placed on hold when there is a family event planned.  With us it’s bad form to watch a DVD the family hasn’t seen or to start movies until everyone gathers in the room.   That aggravating practice allows each of us to choose to suburge our individualism into the whole of our family as a body. At the same time we can’t force everyone to be uniform.  Brooke can put her pinky through her piercing in her ear lobe.  It’s so huge from her gauges.   If we can hold it all together one of the rewards will be that there is a tool in the toolbox for just about every need.  One of us has the ability to handle any challenge facing the family.  We are an organism and an organization–by choice.

 Iron Sharpens Iron; so one man sharpens another.”   The Bible

“You change the tribe, and the tribe changes you.” –Fierce People

sum Luris